Saturday, March 25, 2006

Simple Day

It was ssuch a beautiful day, today. I get to sleep till 11am. the feeling is awesome.

Woke up to have breakfast prepared and my divine cup of tea prepared by my dear dear and consuming them on bed.. ahhaaaha.. Feeling like a king eh!

After which we decide to give our dear bike a wash and a good waxing, bringing it back to its original tip top condition.

Proceed for Prata and teh tarik with dear dear, and everything seems just so wonderful today. Even the prata tasted fresher then usual and so is the teh tarik.

We went back to my house to pack sine stuff, before we head for Ruxing's house, his daughter's full month celebration. Even the buffet taste better then the normal house buffet.

Although part of the day was spoilt by my friends, who were relunctant to go to Ruxing's place, due to some stupid lame excuses.
The execuses as follows:

My gf booked tickets to the movies already.

I am going out with my friends.

(This is the worst one) You know, i am very tired everyday, i have to wake up very early everyday, i am very tired lar. Not don't give face.
this is by my dearest friend Ray.

If you are reading this Ray, pls note, It is alright if you say you don't want to go just say it. I am not gonna force you. I would prefer that rather then u giving me that lame execuse of beiing tired. You start early, you end early and sleep earlier, so whats so tiring about it. U claimed that your job is brainless, no prospect and too simple for you, then what in the hell is making you so tired. If you are so tired, why go to Maidin house to make cookies? LET ME TELL YOU THIS I FUCKING DISLIKE THIS WAY OF HANDLING YOUR THINGS. ACT LIKE A MAN, NOT FUCKING FAGGOT THAT ONLY KNOWS HOW TO FIND EXECUSES, THAT DOESN'T PROVE A POINT. MEET ESTHER SAY MEET ESTHER, DON'T GIVE EXECUSE THAT MAKE YOU SOUND LIKE WEAKLING. AND I AM GOT DAMM FRUSTRATED WITH THIS TRAITS OF YOURS.

Well yeah and this are my friends. I really don't understand them at times. Really, esp RAY.

Anyway yeah its beautiful today, esp the weighing machine showing my weight at 74kg a drop of 6 kg from a week ago. Been having this weird gain and drop off weight symtop. I weighed 80 last week, and 75, 2 weeks ago.

Anyway its just beautiful today...



Friday, March 24, 2006

2nd post for today

Somehow, I felt like blogging again. I think this is the first time that I actually have 2 blog in a day. Dinner was great, especially the eggs, but then, somehow something was amiss, it’s the teh tarik. Well, I had 2 cups today already, so yup no choice must control.

Rented a DVD, though wasn’t what I was planning to get, but I hope my dear would really enjoy it. I am actually rather guilty of not having spent enough time for her; school work is really tumbling down like mad. Projects after projects, meetings and presentations, the worst thing is lazy group mate and she happened to be in the same group with me for 2 subjects. Can you imagine how painful it was, even other mates are complaining about her to me now.

I hope to finish up my remaining stuff asap, 2 more presentations and 3 reports, zeph’s work to the 2 clients, and study really hard for my final exams. Was going thru my results today and realized that I did not perform as well as what I had set for myself before coming into SMU. I am going to work harder and target to achieve 4 subjects in the “A” region, with the last one, ethics, in the “B”, “B+” region.

After the exams, and a short 4 days break, I am going into my internship in UBS AG. I really wondered what’s install for me there. In fact, I am really anxious, I have never work in any financial related industry and holds little knowledge about it. I hoped to learn as much as I could and who knows, what things it might lead to. A better future, I hope.

As I was blogging here, dear dear came in and asked if I wanna have some grapes. This makes me even more guilty. Hai.. When internship starts, I am going to further neglect dear dear, as my working hours span from 4pm -1am . this means that when I am working she knockoff, when I am home, she’s asleep and when she is working, I am home. Meeting up will be harder. Just weekends left. I think I should go and help her with the grapes now.

1 down 2 more to go

I have finally reached week12 of the school term, another 2 more presentations next week, and i will be off from school, preparing for final exams.

It seems really interesting sometimes, how u wish somethings can proceed faster and when it really do, u want it to be slower. Life is really a dilemma, an entanglement of complicated decisions to make. Sometimes, i really admire my fishes, cos they have to do nothing but swimming around in the tank blankly. they don't even have to tidy up their place. got food they eat, got space they swim, how cool. or maybe a dog, i think some dogs do get better treatment then humans.

Anyway, i think all that mentioned is so human, we are just never satisfied with what we are.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Sick, Guilty and Tired

It’s a Wednesday and I am sick again. It all started with headaches from Saturday, Sunday, sinus discharge then finally the throat, and coughing starts to develop. The irritating hiccups started yesterday and guess what, it starts again the first thing in the morning when I woke up.

Left with no choice, I finally headed for the clinic. Waited for about an hour and was prescribed with lotsa medicine. Luckily it wasn’t too costly. A lot of work to do but then I have got medicine that will cause drowsiness….what would u do?

To get well soon or to complete work in this terrible state?

I decided to take the med. As I decide to surf around not doing anything for a min or 2, I stumbled upon my dear dear’s blog. I was really touched by her, being so understanding towards what I wanted. The internship was clearly what I wanted right from the beginning. I was sort of guilty and ashamed of myself about what happened yesterday. I must admit I was somewhat temperamental and agitated by many people, from LTA to inspection and the weather, but I had never ever meant to vent my frustration on anyone or thing. Some misunderstanding occurred and we ended quarrelling during her previous lunch hour break. Despite being angry, I never like to quarrel with her, she make me feel guilty and the fact that I understand the anticipation she had in having lunch with me seriously stung my conscious. Although we managed to talk things out and still ended the lunch nicely, I really hope that the recent arguments will not scar the relationship as we embraced towards a tougher period during my internship.

I also hope that dear dear will enjoy the salad that I packed for her this morning. I promise, I will try to further curb my temper. Really.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Monday 20 March 2006

Its monday again. though i am not feeling the blues, by school work is really coming on fat and hard, meetings, projects, presentation and homework....

Wanted to post some pictures of my visit with Dear dear, ashley, Megan and My sis to The Disney on Ice but then its a bit time consuming.. maybe when i am more free.. maybe tomorrow....

anyway gonna go for project discussion liao
continue later

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Project sees the true character of the person

While very often, i ended up with really good team to work with on school project, there just always need to have this black sheep amidst the crowd.

This particular frd of mine, whom i know for quite a while really changed my opinion of her totally after this particular project that consist of only 2 person.

Knowing that this is a small team, for a big project all the more efforts should be put in earlier to prepare. We planned to meet during teh break but, there was too many ongoing commitment on her side. Then it was the week after the break, but then she got a midterm. So its the week after, somehow somewhat she got an operation and was feeling really weak to talk even on THE PHONE.

After the Op, somehow there is another midterm and this time round, its a 40% midterm. then the week after, which is this week; here comes the best part.

"I thought my midterm was last week but then t turn out to be this week"

Wat the fuck... to be really crude, its sounds like ,
"hey i grab your balls, thinking those were my father's." (hey okay, i mean golf balls)

Well now friday is the presentation, today is wednesday, we need to submit our report on monday, first draft was given but her part are really shitty..

Let's do a direct quote from a sentence and see how it sounds:

"Problem two which may cause seat problem is because the seat is a safety component of the vehicle"

Great sentence, isn't it. If you have seen my blog, my language is really bad or maybe not up to what you can expect from a tertiary student, but when u looked at hers, its sounds like my cousin's homework; simply primary 2.

This in turn cock up my time for other project work and in turn cock up even more things again.

This also resulted in someone close being unhappy, cos i didn't make her work on it again.
the reason is very simple, if the work wasn't done by her(caused she claims that her bf will be doing it) then whats the pt, how would a third party knows what to exxpect.

If she works on it, who knows what she will cock up again. Why not i do it myself, to avoid further shock that could jeopardise my grade.

You wouldn't want to put your grade at stake when u know that, you can make a difference.

Anyway back to work lo...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

My day

Sometimes, I really wonder what is wrong to have family member who are so inclined in acting. It sort of build this cycnical personality in me, and very often prejudging people, and jump quick into conclusion.

Today could have been a really nice day, with things going as plan to complete my required readings at a fairly comfortable pace. Doing some nice makeover to my blog and the beautiful day will nicely end off with a jog in the evening.

After a sleepless night, I woke up in the morning feeling grouchy. I know I do be irritated by the slighltest possible thing, so I sat in the living room, slouching reading the papers, digital times especially. Dad, who was currently jobless came back from the market, out to irritate me with his disgusting actions and way of doing things.

I knew I couldn’t tolerate that and make my way to buy breakfast, hoping to find some quiet time to settle my mood. Things really don’t go very well. I got that gastric problem after breakfast, and had the remaining morning feeling bloated. So I thought maybe I should do my readings in the afternoon and proceed to doing some comestics stuff to my blog.

It was about 11 when mummy called, saying that she is going to interview for a part time job nearby and asked me to fetch her. I agreed to it thinking that we could have lunch together and perhaps spend some time together. I thought it might be a good idea to do some catching up with mummy. I always think that its important to communicate and understand my parents.

Things got worsen when we came back after lunch, when mummy started getting agitated for no reason. Perhaps she overspent again this month. Sigh.. and she proceed to the usual ritual of whining and complaining about how pathetic it was for her. You know I was feeling grouchy and I mean really grouchy from the bad night, it didn’t take long to burst the bubble of tolerance. I exploded. It may seems like I am very impatient with my family members, as some of you might think, but to tolerate the family for 10-11 years is no easy feat.

It always the same few things:

Dad came home drunk, trying to start a fight with almost anyone.
Dad explodes for no reason, thus picking up a fight again
Dad whinning
Dad doing some idiotic stuff to agitate anyone at home, esp mum
Dad beat up mummy
Dad beat me
Dad humiliate me
Mummy crying complaining to me
Mummy trying to commit suicide
Mummy whining about the family
Sister being rude
Sister not listening to parents
And last but not least
Marcus gets pumped up and burst into anger or tears.

What the fuck did I do wrong to deserve all these nonsense. I am feeling like having a fight with anyone now!!

So what happened after that, I make myself a coffee, and attend to some other matter for Zeph.. As a result, my plan for the fail again.

Oh no I must complete my reading today…..




Sleepless Night

It was yet another sleepless night last night..

The burning eyes, the constant distubrnace that i get and the massive thoughts of oh so many things.

I think i am gone crazy.

Yeah CraZy...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

My Yesterday - A fruitful day

It was a really pleasant day yesterday. It started with a nice jog in morning, lunching with Granny, mummy and Nick nick(Niccholas, the small boy who’s photos appear in my blog the last few months. He is sick, down with flu and cough. Children can really fall sick so easily. After which they came over to my place, with nick running around the whole place, looking at tortoise and the fishes. Took some photo of him and will be posting them soon.

I was also impressed by mummy yesterday. She was so different. In fact I like her being like that, she was not as impatient as she was before with kids, in fact she looked so motherly and well trained in handling kids, despite not having to deal with toddlers for years. I really do hope to see her like this more often. Really!!

In the evening, I went ot meet dear dear at Century Square to have dinner, a really sumptuous one followed by a kinky chocolate fondue from Hagen Daz. Why kinky? Its more of playing with your food rather then having good food.

I enjoyed the sleep last night too, it wasn’t too long before I was in deep sleep, the only sad thing is that I have been having dreams too frequently nowadays. A mixed of good and bad ones and for some, I don’t even know what it is. Lets hope today will be even more fruitful and pleasant.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Great day begins with a jog

Despite sleeping rather late at about 2am, i managed to wake up this morning seeing my dear dear off to work and followed by a jog. i must really admit that i am unable to catch my old pace. Shits.. The same running route that i used to run by myself since secondary sch days seems to be exceptionally long now, but i shall not give up and will continue to get back what i used to be able to - house to park, 3 rounds ard park, condo wei wei road and then back home.. (Anyway i think i am the only one who will understand what i am typing here.)

As i was running this morning lotsa things seems to be running through my mind. I can still remember vividly, how i could teh road incident just a few days back. A lady driver came out from a small road from the left of the road into the first lane, right in front of me. Luckily i managed to brake in time, slowing down to just a few inches away from her vehicle. I got so angry that i honked at her but then she seems to drive at an even slower pace. What would u do? Humans are just plain selfish at times. i would have felt better if she just give me sorry sign or things like that, but she faked ignorant. I got so pissed that cut through right to her front and moving at 20km/h, she got no choice but to slow down too. i somehow realised then that there is no point in blowing the matter up by asking her to get down from the vehicle, no conclusion would be met anyway.

BUT I DO SINCERELY URGE ALL DRIVERS TO BE MORE CAREFUL ON THE ROAD... EVERY LIFE IS PRECIOUS

Even i you don care about the life of the other person, but do note how much hassle it would be if u get involve in an accident - your insurance, police report, time wasted arguing, increase in your next year premium, all in all u just don wanna get involve in an accident so ride and drive safely. You can be really proud that you drive a car, of cos, especially in sunny singapore, where car is not that afforadable afterall. However, be magnaious and give a little attention and respect to the fellow road user, who might not be so affluent, sweating like hell on a sunny day and drench on a rainy day, the motorcyclist.

YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE WITH A LITTLE ATTENTION AND RESPECT FOR THE FELLOW ROAD USERS.

One of my favourite photo



Bintan 2005

New Creation



I think i am risking my life by posting this....
but i love u no matter how u look

Grandmother story

Its been really long since I last blog a good long old grandmother story on my blog. Well here it begin, I haven’t been to Sunday soccer session for about 3 weeks consecutively, due to time constraint and the heavy workload from school and stuff. However, I am picking up running regime again, hopefully I can maintain it and if possible lose some weight. Pants and shirt seems to be getting smaller by the day( rolling eyes)

The past few weeks have an eclectic mix of heart warming and disappointing stuff.
Lets start with the good ones:

I have managed to make very own first cheesecake.. yeah its not too bad except for the crust, which is not very well done.

I have created 2 new planted tanks, both look rather nice…quite a self satisfying experience.

My dear dear’s room have been rather neat since Chinese New Year, hopefully it will maintain.

Went to East Coast Park with Ashley and Megan, dear dear’s cousin, to play with them while their father went for a dualthlon (not sure if I got the spelling correctly, but its basically something like the triathlon, but with the swimming portion.)

Went to the school gym, and was pleasant surprise by the facilities. It’s a really nice place.

Lastly dear dear finally got a new job an have been adapting pretty well there.

Well the not so pleasant ones:

A series of family problems, including one that almost result in yet another fight with my dad. I really wonder why such things always happen and for the most stupid reason, a window.

A series of running about looking for information and stuff, due to a possible divorce initiated by mummy. Perhaps its time that this should happen, but then again the finances is always the greatest issue.

Grandfather have been hospitalized, and a series of family feud broken out within dad’s family. Sort of irritated by the daily quarrel that he is having on his mobile.
Really sad that my grandparents have to suffer this sort of torment, hope the old man would get well soon.

Irritated by dad’s series of idiotic activities at home such as sneezing in front of the tv, when we are watching it, talking loudly on his mobile, fidgeting with his mobile and talking to himself, and his impeccable ability to almost destroy anything he touches.

Somewhat disappointed by the actions brought about by some sch mates in the same CCA, but anyway its coming to an end. Although I am pissed by their actions, but I sincerely wish that the publication will scale new heights. After all I have learned to appreciate even the slightest efforts that people made to do a difference in the environment. I am glad that I have learned that from the CCA. (To dear dear, yup and I appreciate all things done by you)